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Ironing Bedsheets to Bareskin by ~SubduedPromises:iconSubduedPromises:



I'll bring you back the sun.
                                                            Lasso it from the Pacific sunset
                                                        and throw it back up into our skyline.
                          Embrace its beauty
                    Cause this may not last long.
          I've been praying for days on end now.
Let the light come and peek through your window.
Let it warm your face and greet you
"Hello Gorgeous" every morning.
Cause if I was there thats what I'd be whispering across the pillowcase.
And smirking in complete adoration
"You look amazing at the crack of dawn"
More amazing than you wrapped around me.
I look so helpless in your arms.
                                          We'll fall into an even deeper sleep
                                                   and drown in a cotton bliss.
                                                            "Hit or Miss Girl."
                                   Hit or   m   i   s   s
                                  Cause this may not last long.
                          Ive been hoping for days on end now.
If I could I'd have kept you near me like a note tucked away in some pages.
                   kept you near me like a secret at point of exploding and exposing
kept you near me like teens pressed under peer pressure
Ironing bedsheets to bareskin.
©2006-2009 ~SubduedPromises
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Submitted: March 11, 2006
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Comments: 24
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Author's Comments

About me missing a boy while i was away in California.

I need help with a catchy title.
Any suggestions?
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Comments


You got a couple cliches in here like hit or miss, days on end but I can live with them
-What made me like this poem hmmmmm
-Well Ironing bedsheets to bareskin is certainly a line that peaked my intrest
-A couple good, unique images in here but they are not perfectly executed I think it is the fact you used "like" is my problem bad verb choice otherwise you got a perfect image

You have something to be proud of here,
Matt

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I give constructive critique on poetry, if you want me to be very critical let me know, if you want me to be nice but still constructive, hit up my page. lol. >>>and in other news>>>
*PoetryPlease (--- if you are a poet, join!
i love it. not gonna lie. its pretty freaking amazing.
well im not gunna like .YOURE pretty freaking amazing. :)
:hug:Thank you!

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:halfliquid: from a girl inside a ghost town
Yeah I have problems with "like" and cliches.
Thanks for your input :glomp:
Much appreciated

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:halfliquid: from a girl inside a ghost town
well YOU, my dear, are the cat's meow!!

...meow;)

haha im so silly:P
hahahaha yes you are! :giggle:

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:halfliquid: from a girl inside a ghost town
This is great!! I can certainly feel the longing. :)
:heart: :hug: Thanks!

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:halfliquid: from a girl inside a ghost town

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