When I saw you at a distant glance, I felt hope tugging on the bottom seams of my shirt. And it made me think "maybe someone can make you feel completely sane and secure." But yet he is just a boy and I’m just a girl that goes unnoticed. Even if I made an attempt to stand out I’m sure he would never be interested. I could drop hints like bombs in war and still not make a dent in his thoughts. Or break this ice between him knowing and not knowing I actually exist. So I’ll look down grasping my books as I blend in with everyone else in the crowded hallways of this school. "Hannah Hannah Hannah, get your heads out of the clouds. It’s where high hopes are suppose to be, out of reach." I won’t even listen to myself anymore. What’s so special about him anyways? There are millions of others and they all seem to be the same.
Yet everyday, for 3 years now, I’ve been falling apart slowly. With his words he never says to me and the looks that aren’t focused in on me I’m disheartened even more. My patience for waiting any longer is thinning out to a point but really it’s all my own fault. A phrase to describe me would be said "a complete nervous wreck". Honestly I shy away too easily. I’ve watched all the wrong girls come and go leaving less each time. They walk all over him as he melts further into the asphalt. Bad days seem to hit closer to home. Some days I just want to add weights and drop myself off a bridge into an ungraceful plunge. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about breathing but yet he’s also very good at leaving me gasping for air and trying to "catch up" with the oxygen supply. My head spins into scenarios where we’re actually together. I think that those moments are called daydreams to everyone else. It means more to me. They are my little escapes where I getaway from my dull life that I dig a hole deeper for. Soon enough I’ll change and kill all the routines. But for now, I’ll wait out the misery and when you come, I’ll change.